For various reasons, I use Remote Desktop Control a lot.
Yesterday I upgraded a PC to Mint 13 and went to active remote access. There was no sign of any Desktop Sharing Preferences.
I searched the Net and found more queries than answers as apparently this is a major problem that affects both 32 and 64 bit versions. However by combining several solutions I eventually made one that worked.
I started by creating an entry in my main menu -
Running this will load the Desktop Sharing Preferences. Allow sharing and chose the rest of your preferences. This sets the default so there is no need to run this again unless you wish to change preferences at a future date.
The Vino server is now running but it still will refuse access. To fix this, I created a new entry in Startup Applications (you’ll find the latter in Control Center)
The Command is /usr/lib/vino/vino-server –sm-disable
Next time, and every time after the machine is booted up, Desktop Sharing will be enabled and running.